you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
