Me too!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize