You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
