You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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