She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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