she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
