Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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