Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
