I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize