i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
