YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
