Already got asked if we're dating
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
