btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
