I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
