so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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