mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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