hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
