Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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