omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Your dad touched me again.
Just cropdusted the office
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
