Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Randomize
