Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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