big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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