did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
