I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
