No stitches, just platelets and will power
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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