she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
