he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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