I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
