check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
