4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
