i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
