he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
