ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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