Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
