YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I just sharted jello shots
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