I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
