I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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