i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
