she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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