She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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