Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
