Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
