he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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