Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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