This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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