i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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