Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize