You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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