Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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