look no pants
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize