Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize