They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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