well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize