WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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