it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
