Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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