I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i dont even know how to be here
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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