As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
