So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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