just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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