On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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