I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The beer is more important than you right now.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
