Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
