She is in my trunk
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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