Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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