I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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